"And so God shoved 10 million species of animals into an ark. He regarded his work and it was adequate. 'Either that,' said He, 'or I put, like, 10,000 in and then make them rapidly evolve, and that would be CRAZY.' Then he killed everyone by drowning them." - Genesis 14:18
Does not the story of Noah fill our hearts with gladness and joy? Do not our hearts swell with love and appreciation when we consider that, not only did God murder all the sinful humans, but also the animals that really had nothing to do with any of this whole Adam/Eve/Satan thing? Imagine their last, terrified breaths as they uncomprehendingly sank beneath the waves, completely unaware that they were pawns in some demented universal chess match. Such kindness!
Either that, or the whole thing was a myth. But that explanation would make sense! So all righthearted, loyal ones do not believe that. Instead, we put our faith in the concept that God hates evolution, except when he does it, and then it's cool.
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