Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Daily Text 8/20/2014

"And thus, Moses did sell his vehicle with two doors, the one with the sweet-ass speaker system, and purchased a sensible vehicle with four doors. And there was rejoicing, and a sacrifice was made to Jehovah, with the choicest of the sheep, and the she-goats, and the cattle, and the turtledoves being slain upon His altar. And Jehovah was pleased, so thus he put 14,000 of the Israelites to death." - Automobiles 4:8

Does it not fill our hearts with joy when we acquiesce to the weird-ass wishes of our congregations? Our hearts fill with the throbbing sensation of joy when we do things, not because there's a clear directive, but because we're going to get sideways looks or strange and disparaging comments about our personal choices. While many in the world may say, "I can drive whatever car I like, so fuck off," we chosen people just give in to whatever.

Does this not fill you with the quivering, twitching cock of joyfullness and spray loads of appreciation all over your warm insides?

No comments:

Post a Comment